Having spent plenty of time mulling over my “why” for doing a shopping ban, reflecting on my personal values, and even counting every single thing I own, I was finally ready to get to the meat of the shopping ban inspired by Cait Flanders’ book The Year of Less—the “ban” part.
Since I spent most of January and February reflecting, I was more eager than ever to get the rules hammered out so I could do a good job. If there’s one thing about me: I like to know the rules so I can do a good job.
In the back of the book, the author provides some recommendations I’d been following to prepare for a shopping ban, and the next step she suggests is to write out three explicit lists for what you will, and won’t, be able to shop for during your shopping ban.
Her words are below:
3. Write Three Lists
When you were decluttering and taking inventory, two things probably started to become clear: There are things in your home you definitely don’t need to buy more of, and there are probably also a few things you will, in fact, need to buy during you shopping ban. At this point, it’s time to write three lists:
The Essentials List:* This is a list of things you’re allowed to buy whenever you run out of them. The easiest way to create this list is to walk around your home and look at what you use in each room every day. For me, this included things like groceries and toiletries. I also included gifts for others.
The Nonessentials List:* This is a list of things you’re not allowed to buy during your shopping ban. For me, that included things I thought I would enjoy but didn’t use on a daily basis, like books, magazines, and candles. If you took inventory of any of these items, add the number you have beside it for reference.
The Approved Shopping List: This is a list of specific things you’re allowed to buy during your shopping ban. As you declutter and take stock of what you own, think about what’s coming up during the time span of your shopping ban and figure out what you might need to add to your list.
*You’ll notice I didn’t include any “experience” costs, like dining out or going on a vacation. If you want to include that stuff in either list, you can! But you don’t have to. I added take-out coffee to my nonessentials list, simply because I wasn’t comfortable spending a lot of money on it anymore. However, I still allowed myself to go to restaurants occasionally. Remember, your ban should be unique to you
- Cait Flanders in The Year of Less (2018), p. 174
At the beginning of the year, the list of things I needed to get was a bit longer, but between starting the ban and writing this post, I had been able to acquire several of those things, nearly all second hand, which is in alignment with my values. I’d still been settling into my new home, and there had been a few items that I needed to feel more comfortable.
Notable purchases so far this year that were “approved” based on my self-imposed rules for the shopping ban are as follows:
1 Rectangular rug for my entry way
1 Set of earrings - I’d taken my 0g gauges out in 2022 and hadn’t had anything in my ears since they partially closed up
1 Gift for my mom’s birthday
1 Chair for my living room
1 TV (replacement) - the previous TV, which I’d been gifted, sadly did not work. I got rid of it and replaced it with one I bought secondhand
1 Foot warmer for under my desk (replacement) - the heating element went out on the one I already had from 2021; I have Renaud’s and have to have warm feet during the Winter!
2 Wall-mounted candle holders - every night I turn off the lights a few hours before bed to wind down, and I move about the house by candlelight until I’m ready to sleep
4 Frames for art I’d been gifted that I wanted to be able to hang on my walls
1 Road Atlas (replacement) - my previous one (a beloved artifact I plan to frame) had been falling apart for years, and I purchased one with a much sturdier binding
As I mentioned, I consider each of these purchases “approved,” as they fall within the parameters I’d mentally set on January 2st. Since I’ve already acquired those items, I am excluding them from these three lists. The lists below are “from now, on.”
The Essentials List
Groceries and basic kitchen supplies
Toiletries (only when I run out)
Dog necessities like food, poo bags, treats, and meds
Cleaning products
Greeting cards (and gifts, only for my Loved ones whose Love language is gifts)
Items on the approved shopping list
The Nonessentials List
Books, magazines, notebooks (except if I run out of notebooks completely)
Apps, in-app purchases, subscription services, streaming platforms (in excess of 1 at a time)
Board games
Video game consoles, controllers, or game cartridges
Markers, pens, pencils, or stationary
Miniature items
Collectibles, anything Minecraft or Pokémon themed
The Approved Shopping List
Candle-making supplies to refill used candle jars, stick candles for the wall holders
Gender-affirming clothing (except pants) - I recently had top surgery and want to seek some gender euphoria, but I already have plenty of pairs of pants
1 Circular rug for the living room
1 Dog toy for Kaiser, who aside from bones hasn’t had a new toy since he destroyed his beloved sheep-y-corn last year
1 Keepsake book for memorabilia - while decluttering I found several newspaper articles and zines I’d been featured in, and I want them out where I can view them, rather than tucked away in a storage bin
1 pair of lined high-top shoes with a wide toe box in the Fall/Winter - I have extremely wide feet and I’m almost finished changing my entire shoe repertoire over to foot-shaped, extra-wide shoes that don’t hurt. This is the last pair I need in order to cover all four seasons!
1 bicycle + accessories + bike rack for my car
1 Sticker per state I pass through on road trips, to adorn my beloved Road Atlas
1 copy of Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg if I can ever find one
Water proof outerwear - I had to add this after arriving in British Colombia in the first whispers of Spring, when my Colorado clothes were all immediately soaked through
I can also purchase anything that must be replaced, but the original item has to be tossed or donated
Making the lists felt final in an important way, and also provided much clearer guidelines to adhere to than in the beginning of the year, where my approved shopping list was a loose set of ideas in my head that I’d yet to untangle.
Because I’m not a big shopper, the nonessentials list was probably the most challenging one for me to create. I had to stop and think, what are the kinds of things I actually AM prone to buying? A recent moment in Dollar Tree came to mind: I encountered in the craft isle a perfectly to-scale, miniature wooden pallet the size of a coaster and I shrieked. I am an absolute sucker for miniature items, and every time I encounter a really good one I have to physically stop myself from leaving with it.
For good measure, I also listed out categories of things I had been known to spend money on or collect in the past, like video game consoles and Pokémon cards/themed items. While these haven’t been active collections recently, I had a hunch that being unable to shop might stoke some old habits.
I waffled on where to put “Greeting cards,” because while I am perfectly aware that they don’t meet the definition of the word essential, as in I can clearly survive without them, they are a meaningful way that I communicate care to my Loved ones, and I wouldn’t be willing to give them up without a suitable alternative that I have, as of yet, not discovered.
To this point, I have found new ways of acquiring greeting cards that are in alignment with my values; I found a local thrift store that has racks and racks of greeting cards at under $0.50, as well as a local artists and creatives market that has hand-crafted masterpiece cards for around $4 a piece. Both of those purchasing options feel better to me than spending $7.99 (???) on a happy birthday card at Walmart.
Looking at these lists in sum, I notice that the Approved Shopping List is a bit lengthy, but there are fewer things on the list for the year than I thought there might be. I tried to be as thorough as I could, thinking about what I’d need in the different seasons, with the hope of not needing to make exceptions or amendments throughout the year. I am happy with where I landed for each list.
Another reflection I had is on the nature of seeking LESS, and the possible implications. It is in my nature to take things to their natural ends, and in some situations this can result in pursuing extremes. While considering the shopping ban, and these lists, it occurred to me that if I wasn’t careful, I could take the ban further than reducing consumption, and interpret it as an exercise in asceticism.
Broadly, I’m prone to asceticism, and I don’t feel it’s an entirely bad thing. Frugality, restraint, and intentionality are some of my broader values, and I find it helpful to have the skill of denying myself pleasure. I’ll also note that I am a Yellow in The Color Code, so denying myself pleasure is a hard fought skill, one that I have learned to offset my otherwise overly indulgent nature.
I already regularly engage with limitations regarding drinking, I don’t smoke, I take long breaks from consuming refined sugar, and I don’t see movies. I’ve even toyed with the idea of reverting to a landline so I could escape the constant pull of pseudo-pleasure offered by the social media apps on my phone.
However, it became clear to me that the shopping ban is not about asceticism, at least not for me. Having LESS, wanting LESS, needing LESS, the entire point of downsizing and decluttering is to make room in my mind and my life for the really good stuff: Love, connection, community, joy, travel, spontaneity, silliness, purpose. If, in trying to spend less money, I get to a point where I am disallowing myself joy, I have missed the mark.
So, like the author, I did not include any restrictions on experiences, and I also included some things in my approved shopping list simply because they are small and simple parts of my life that bring me joy—like getting a new sticker for my map in each state I pass through. Could I stop buying stickers? Sure I could. But finding the perfect sticker, stopping at different gas stations to see if they have any, adding to my map like stamps in a passport, it makes me feel alive; and that feeling is one thing I am not looking for less of.
With the lists in place, the final piece of the Shopping Ban is accountability.
Like Cait Flanders before me, I have decided to commit to accountability on my blog for any and all purchases I make during this year, and especially to being transparent about what it takes to honor the ban, and whether and how I may break it.
If you took on a shopping ban, what items might you consider “essential,” that others would take trouble with? What kinds of things would you put on your nonessentials list, willing to part with completely? Let me know in the comments.
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash